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Show Kids Stuff Isn’t Happiness
Joyce
Hulett
Columbia Tribune
October 2, 2008
Q: How can I keep my 10-year-old and 12-year-old
daughters from wanting so many material things?
A: Our society now seems to be very involved in
materialism. Children see all the things that other
children have, and they want them, too. This is
encouraged by television ads children watch when they
are watching cartoons and other programs. Marketing to
children seems to work.
Parents need to limit the amount of "stuff" their
children acquire for many reasons. When children have so
much, they have a hard time appreciating any of it.
Recently, Marsha Richins, the Myron Watkins
Distinguished Professor of Marketing at the Robert J.
Trulaske Sr. College of Business at the University of
Missouri, spoke on "Always Wanting More: Implications of
Materialism for Ourselves and Our World" in Cornell Hall
on the MU campus. Her research interests include
materialism, the role products play in people’s lives
and the influence of advertising.
Your daughters see other people with certain things, and
they wish they had those same items. So they ask for
those products or maybe use their allowances to buy
them.
Have your daughters note how long they feel good about
having their new purchase - it probably does not last
long. If your daughters are like most people, they will
feel happy and proud for a day or so. Then they will
forget about the new purchase.
So how do you get your daughters to see that they do not
need more stuff?
Have your daughters go through their clothes and other
items they no longer use. They could give away things
they have outgrown or no longer need. Or they could have
a garage sale with your help.
When your daughters have more room in their closets and
rooms, discuss with them how nice it is to have more
space. Tell them that from now on they will need to
seriously consider whether they need something before
they buy it.
Think about what you are modeling for your daughters. Be
sure you are not a model for buying large amounts of
stuff. Your daughters will often copy what you do,
whether it is good or bad.
Richins said materialism causes discontent. No matter
how many things we have or how grand our things are,
somebody else is going to have more and better things.
We are not going to be able to have the most and the
best. So we feel cheated.
Richins said the more we compare ourselves to others,
the more insecure we become. We are bound to feel sad
when we see all these other people with more and better
stuff.
We tend to compare ourselves upward, Richins said.
Instead, teach your daughters to compare themselves with
people who have less. Tell your daughters to think about
the children in Pakistan or Iraq or Haiti.
Richins said the things that make us happy are having
positive relationships, having feelings of competence
and being in control of our lives. Material possessions
do not contribute to our happiness.
People are happier when they focus on others, Richins
said. People who get money bonuses are happier when they
give that money to someone else than the people who keep
the money for themselves.
Teach your daughters to give their time and energy to do
volunteer work for people who need help. This will help
them feel more competent.
Instead of giving gifts to family members, give to a
needy family on holidays. Encourage your daughters to
help you shop and wrap the gifts for the family chosen
to receive the gifts.
Speak to your daughters about what makes you grateful.
Talk about the kinds of things that are important to
you, like family and friends.
You can help your daughters become less materialistic.
Your modeling and guidance should influence them to
focus less on "stuff" and more on other people.
You will be glad you helped your daughters. |
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